tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51341726208105324612024-03-08T15:39:12.058-05:00NeurophageWeird films. Scattered books. Good beer.mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.comBlogger134125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-53595031698379696552011-08-05T00:58:00.000-04:002011-08-05T00:58:38.343-04:00AtB<i>Attack the Block</i> and <i>Super8</i> make for a fantastic double-feature, though the former kicks the pants off the latter.<br />
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OK, mindless blind gorilla-wolf aliens swarm through a council estate (aka the projects). The local, er, citizenry take matters into their own hands, partly out of pride, but mostly due to a learned distrust of civic authorities.<br />
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It's not a deep film, to be sure, but it's not afraid to be morally ambiguous, and the dialogue is outstanding. Yeah, the ending was a bit cheezy, but there was some restraint there.<br />
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* * * R A T I N G * * *<br />
<br />
Attack the Block(<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1478964/">IMDB</a>)<br />
<br />
Wince : [**___]<br />
Flinch : [**___]<br />
Retch : [**___]<br />
Gape : [***__]<br />
<br />
Beerequisite : [****_]<br />
Pornability : [_____] (**** for gorilla-wolf aliens)<br />
Obscurity : [*____]<br />
Explicability : [****_]<br />
<br />
Best hope for a spin-off series: Mayhem & Probsmkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-10418158622206340872011-07-26T00:53:00.002-04:002011-08-05T00:59:45.838-04:00Enter The VoidFurther proof that Gaspar Noe has nothing to say.<br />
<br />
Plot in a nutshell: Guy lives in a Tokyo ghetto with his sister. He mostly takes and sells drugs, she strips and whores. Drug deal goes wrong, guy dies, sister grieves, guy's friend moves in to console her, guy gets reborn as their love-child. Oh, and did I mention the Tibetan Book of the Dead? Because the characters do, a few hundred times, without actually giving any reason why that rites-of-passage book has any bearing on, well, anything going on in the film. Except maybe the guy becoming a ghost after he dies, or his spirit floating around or whatever, though even this is a stretch.<br />
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About fifteen minutes into this movie, you're thinking "wow, this is very fresh and vibrant, this could be one of the best cinematic experience of the year".<br />
<br />
About an hour in, you're thinking "OK, I get it. Now please stop."<br />
<br />
The strobe effects are just annoying. The tendency of the camera to zoom and spin into the first visible circular object in a room (fan, stove burner, duct -- any hole will do!) becomes so tiresome that snorts of derision accompanied these transitions halfway through the second hour. The final hotel-of-love scene caused outright laughter when the glowing genitals made their appearance. Maybe a Cannes audience found it offensive, but the audience at the IFC Center just found it ludicrous.<br />
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It may seem nit-picking to focus on these three flaws in a film that provided so much in terms of cinematography, seedy sides of Tokyo, and down-and-out lifestyle ... but really, they ruin it. Perhaps the film could have been saved if there was any take-away, but it remains a collection of impressionistic sequences with a "love is all there is and by love we mean sex and such" message tacked onto the end.<br />
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* * * R A T I N G * * *<br />
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Enter the Void(<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1191111/">IMDB</a>)<br />
<br />
Wince : [*****] Every time the camera goes into a duct.<br />
Flinch : [**___]<br />
Retch : [**___]<br />
Gape : [**___]<br />
Groan :[**********] Yes, I added that just for this film.<br />
<br />
Beerequisite : [****_]<br />
Pornability : [***__]<br />
Obscurity : [*____]<br />
Explicability : [***__]<br />
<br />
Memories I want to erase: ...about 3 hours' worth.<br />
<br />
What I would do different: Maybe read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, for starters.mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-42250912265177724362011-07-26T00:31:00.002-04:002011-07-26T00:32:15.775-04:00MilocrorzeNYAFF has been coming across as less and less inspired since their move to Lincoln Center, resulting in a corresponding decrease in attendance. This year, <i>Milocrorze</i> appeared to be one of three films worth seeing (<i>Yellow Sea </i>and <i>Foxy Festival</i> being the others).<br />
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The films opens with a gaudily-dressed kid (picture the <i>Dead Man</i> suit in full color) living with his badly CGIed cat, in his own house as if he were an adult. He meets an adult woman in the park. They fall in love. Eventually she leaves him. He's a child at heart, see? Get it?<br />
<br />
The story is replaced by a spotlight on a guy giving love advice to young men. Sure, he's a bit of a prick, and a bit of a misogynist, but the dance numbers are reminiscent of <i>Zebraman 2</i>. Quite fun, and takes a couple of nice shots at introspective-obsessive teenage boys.<br />
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After this, there's a samurai story with a somewhat confused and conflicting sense of what period it takes place in (let's take a guess... a "steampunk" setting?). Best to just assume post-apocalyptic and move on. This is the meat of the movie: lots of crazy, fast-slow-fast, gleefully entertaining swordfights. As much a send up of the slashing-katana genre as the previous two segments were of anime and chat shows.<br />
<br />
Finally, the wrap-up. The kid from the first segment has "grown up" (still dressing badly) and encounters the woman he fell in love with, and finally achieves closure. The whole thing has been a metaphor, see? A childlike heart falls obsessively in love, is hurt, becomes a ladykiller, fights an entire lifetime to regain his love, then gets over it.<br />
<br />
The middle of the movie was certainly enjoyable, but really, the entire thing was too deliberately quirky and too vapidly symbolic to really take seriously.<br />
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* * * R A T I N G * * *<br />
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<a href="http://subwaycinema.com/milocrorze-love-story-japan-2011/">Milocrorze (NYAFF)</a><br />
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1843986/">MirokurĂ´ze (IMDB)</a><br />
<br />
Wince : [***__]<br />
Flinch : [**___]<br />
Retch : [*****] (* if you are colorblind)<br />
Gape : [***__]<br />
<br />
Beerequisite : [****_]<br />
Pornability : [**___]<br />
Obscurity : [**___]<br />
Explicability : [**___]<br />
<br />
Crossover I'd like to see: Kumagai vs Zebra Queen, dancing on the ground-up corpses of the Black-Eyed Peas.mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-70936407103056236972010-03-21T12:10:00.002-04:002011-07-26T00:16:19.479-04:00L O V E E X P O S U R EThe four-hour hentai epic that the world didn't ask for but sorely needed. The son of a Catholic priest becomes obsessed with sin, while a religious cult starts to become a social problem in Japan.<br />
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Is it about sex? Pornography? Religion? Insanity? Yes! If this film doesn't have it, you don't need it.<br />
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* * * R A T I N G * * *<br />
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<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1128075/">Ai no mukidashi (IMDB)</a><br />
<br />
Wince : [**___]<br />
Flinch : [****_]<br />
Retch : [**___]<br />
Gape : [*****]<br />
<br />
Beerequisite : [*____]<br />
Pornability : [**___]<br />
Obscurity : [**___]<br />
Explicability : [****_]<br />
<br />
<br />
Extra Points: The shortest four-hour movie in history. At last year's NYAFF, the 90 minute film <i>Dream</i> was twice as long as this.mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-51644203536545046712009-05-29T03:30:00.003-04:002009-06-18T05:14:54.968-04:00booklog<span style="font-style: italic;">Tin House</span> #38<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Club Dumas</span>, Perez-Reverte. The book that became <span style="font-style: italic;">The 9th Gate</span>.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Richard III</span>, Norton Critical Edition.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Manuscript Found in Saragossa</span>, Potocki.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Tragedy of King Richard the Second</span>; <span style="font-style: italic;">The History of Henry the Fourth</span>; <span style="font-style: italic;">The Second Part of Henry the Fourth</span>; <span style="font-style: italic;">The Life of Henry the Fifth</span>; <span style="font-style: italic;">The First Part of Henry the Sixth</span>; <span style="font-style: italic;">The First Part of the Contention of the Two Famous Houses of York and Lancaster</span> (2 Henry VI); <span style="font-style: italic;">The True</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">Tragedy of Richard Duke of York and the Good King Henry the Sixth</span> (3 Henry VI). The Norton Shakespeare. Good vacation reading.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Fall of Carthage</span>, Goldsworthy.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Dido, Queen of Carthage</span>; <span style="font-style: italic;">Edward the Second</span>; <span style="font-style: italic;">Tamburlaine The Great, Parts 1 and 2</span>. Marlowe, Penguin Classics. Equally good reading on the, er, second vacation.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Eclipse</span>, John Shirley.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Horrific Sufferings of the Mind-Reading Monster Hercules Barefoot: His Wonde</span><span style="font-style: italic;">rful Love and His Terrible Hatred</span>, Vallgren.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Respected Sir</span>, Mahfouz.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Almost Transparent Blue</span>, Murakami. Pointless junkie-narrative.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Wrestler's Cruel Study</span>, Dobyns.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">American Psycho</span>, Ellis. This was as much a delight to read, having seen the film, as <span style="font-style: italic;">Fight Club</span> was a disappointment.mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-64124035624114929882009-05-29T03:02:00.002-04:002009-05-29T03:30:04.923-04:00No Limits, No ControlJarmusch's latest is a throwback to his early, pre-<span style="font-style: italic;">Ghost Dog</span> days. You remember -- back when his films were worth watching.<br /><br />Sure, it's a two-hour meander, following an uncommunicative character around Spain in a series of amusingly repetitive spy-movie encounters. Plot and character are superfluous: one gets the impression that Jarmusch is speaking directly to the audience through the various set-pieces, rather than trying to capture an elusive mood or idea.<br /><br />What violence and crime (or is it politics?) there is remains completely stylized. And not stylized in an unconvincing, "I've never seen a real fight" Fassbinder way. Stylized in a "you get the idea, we don't need to show it" way.<br /><br />Slow. Pointless. Clever. Enjoyable.<br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br /><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1135092/">The Limits of Control (IMDB)<br /></a><br />Wince : [**___]<br />Flinch : [*____]<br />Retch : [*____]<br />Gape : [***__]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [*____]<br />Pornability : [***__]<br />Obscurity : [*____]<br />Explicability : [**___]mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-43756781597689741042009-03-11T18:16:00.007-04:002009-05-29T03:51:19.120-04:00booklog<span style="font-style: italic;">n+1</span> #7 <br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Death of Virgil</span>, Broch. Covered elsewhere.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Woman Who Cut Off Her Leg at the Maidstone Club</span>, Slavin. Surprisingly dull and unsurprising stories, given the subject matter.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The End of Mr Y</span>, Thomas. This one really sounds like a fun ride: a cursed book whose readers die mysteriously, dimensional travel, communication with spirits and the afterlife, a literary mystery. So why is it such a horrible read? It just comes across as unconvincing. Even quite-probable details like the promiscuity of the main character come across as tales told by a chronic liar, when handled by this author. And the giant mouse spirit guide who's kept alive by a group of schoolkids running a webpage -- come on, that's just silly.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Vital Speeches of the Day</span>, Jan '09, Feb '09<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Emerson: Mind On Fire</span>, Richardson. A mighty tome, containing everything there is to know about the life of Ralph Waldo Emerson.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Lapham's Quarterly</span>, Vol 1 #3: "Book of Nature"<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Essays, or Counsels Civil and Moral</span>, Francis Bacon.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Anthony and Cleopatra</span>, The Oxford Shakespeare.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Time Famine</span>, Olsen. Quite disappointing, given how long I've been trying to find a copy of this book. Perhaps I should have read it when it came out back in the 90s, before I got critical of writing styles where every noun has its adjective (if not a family of them), where descriptive sentences tend toward the comma-delimited run-on, and where the generally fun use of proper nouns as adjectives becomes redundant, even oppressive.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Autobiography and Other Writings</span>, Benjamin Franklin (Oxford)<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Lost Christianities</span>, Bart Ehrman.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Atlas</span>, Vollmann. Essays of travels to the third world (and, uh, San Francisco) that would be much more enjoyable if Vollman could either go all the way with his attempts at stream-of-consciousness, or abandon it altogether. And if the subject of every story wasn't in some way or other about Vollman getting laid, trying to get laid, or failing to get laid. The only thing more disturbing than the number of times he tells a woman with whom he shares no common language "I love you" is that he may be simple enough to believe it himself.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Lapham's Quarterly</span>, Vol 2 #1: "Eros"<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Tempest</span>, Norton Critical Edition.mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-29604266636909952762009-03-11T17:44:00.003-04:002009-03-23T16:52:34.893-04:00TeethAh yes, the <span style="font-style: italic;">vagina dentata</span>. Feared foe of virile young men since... some time ago when they spoke Latin.<br /><br />The story is straightforward, as one would expect: girl is born with two sets of teeth, reaches adolescence, and every boy with less than pure intentions gets emasculated with extreme prejudice. Yawn.<br /><br />Good script, good visuals, and some jabs at abstinence-only education end up making this film a lot more enjoyable than it would seem. The <span style="font-style: italic;">vagina dentata</span> itself does not, alas, make an on-screen appearance, which is a bit disturbing given the number of dismembered members bouncing around the floor, but understandable once the director has explained that his mentor was Camille Paglia.<br /><br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br /><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780622/">Teeth (IMDB)</a><br /><br />Wince : [***__]<br />Flinch : [****_]<br />Retch : [***__]<br />Gape : [**___]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [*****]<br />Pornability : [**___]<br />Obscurity : [**___]<br />Explicability : [****_]mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-80747593388963194072009-03-11T17:22:00.003-04:002009-03-23T16:27:53.290-04:00MindfleshA cab driver obsessively records his sightings of a hallucinatory woman, who he ends up having sex with, and who turns out to be his own mind, the (truly) inexplicable result of his mother having drunken sex with him and then killing herself. This (the sex with the woman, that is, his own mind) pisses off the guardians of the galaxy (or dimension or plane or whatnot), ostensibly because he is not facing his trauma (but is instead shagging it?), so they start killing off his friends/acquaintances/former employers in order to make him "face his trauma" (this is the only clear part, as it is repeated ad nauseum towards the end), which he does at the end (by remembering his mom having sex with him) just in time to save his ex-girlfriend, patch up his relationship with her, and mail off his manuscript (which is undoubtedly the screenplay for the film).<br /><br />That about sums it up. The film starts off well, good psychosexual-thriller or whatever it calls itself, but unravels horribly when it attempts to explain what is going on. Everything but the kitchen sink gets thrown in by the end, in an apparent attempt to impress the viewer with the sheer number of concepts introduced. Tough to imagine the chemical cocktail that drove this screenplay, though the tendency of each scene to ignore the entire rest of the movie argues against anything they give the kids for ADD.<br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0964529/"><br />Mindflesh (IMDB) </a><br /><br />Wince : [*****]<br />Flinch : [***__]<br />Retch : [***__]<br />Gape : [*****]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [********...there's not enough beer in the world.<br />Pornability : [****_]<br />Obscurity : [****_]<br />Explicability : [**___]<br /><br />Notable visuals: Maggot crotch.mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-89661532062247276762009-03-11T17:20:00.003-04:002009-03-23T16:06:13.903-04:00Goodbye, Dragon InnWhen a director like Ming-liang Tsai produces a personal ode to the bygone days of theatergoing, you know you're in for a long, slow ride -- and <span style="font-style: italic;">Goodbye, Dragon Inn</span> does not disappoint.<br /><br />It's hard to describe this film as bad: it is beautifully shot, well-acted, and exudes quality craftsmanship. At the same time, it is pretentious garbage: nothing happens, there is no real story, it is entirely a mood piece. The first line of dialog is about 45 minutes into the film, and the end features an overlong (roughly 10 minutes) shot of the empty movie theater. The film is hard to love, and hard to hate.<br /><br />The DVD, however, has a nice extra: <span style="font-style: italic;">The Skywalk Is Gone</span>, which serves to link <span style="font-style: italic;">What Time Is It There</span> and <span style="font-style: italic;">The Wayward Cloud</span> (including the audition of Hsiao-kang for his first porn film).<br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br /><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0377556/">Bu San (IMDB)</a><br /><br />Wince : [*____]<br />Flinch : [_____]<br />Retch : [*____]<br />Gape : [**___]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [**___]<br />Pornability : [_____]<br />Obscurity : [***__]<br />Explicability : [*____]<br /><br />Best running gag: The unlit cigarette.mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-9303300089893879992009-03-01T22:58:00.002-05:002009-03-01T23:18:31.879-05:00Ben Franklin, dolphin eater<dl><dt>Friday, Sept. 2.</dt><dt><span style="font-size:85%;">This morning the wind changed; a little fair. We caught a couple of dolphins, and fried them for dinner. They eat indifferent well.</span><br /></dt></dl>...<br /><dl><dt>Wednesday, Sept. 7.</dt><dt><span style="font-size:85%;">The wind is somewhat abated, but the sea is very high still. A dolphin kept us company all this afternoon; we struck at him several times, but could not take him. </span></dt></dl>...<br /><br />Friday, Sept. 9.<br /><span style="font-size:85%;">This afternoon we took four large dolphins, three with a hook and line, and the fourth we struck with a fizgig. The bait was a candle with two feathers stuck in it, one on each side, in imitation of a flying-fish, which are the common prey of the dolphins. They appeared extremely eager and hungry, and snapped up the hook as soon as ever it touched the water. When we came to open them, we found in the belly of one a small dolphin, half digested. Certainly they were half-famished, or are naturally very savage, to devour those of their own species. </span><dl><dt><span style="font-size:85%;"> </span>Saturday, Sept. 10.</dt><dt><span style="font-size:85%;">This day we dined upon the dollphins we caught yesterday, three of them sufficing the whole ship, being twenty-one persons. </span></dt></dl><br /><a href="http://www.let.rug.nl/%7Eusa/D/1726-1750/franklin/voy.htm">Ben Franklin's Journal: Voyage</a>mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-82002953214049021602009-01-30T03:33:00.002-05:002009-01-30T03:53:11.082-05:00Death of VirgilIt would be remiss not to devote an entire post to a book that took nearly a year to finish.<br /><br />The work in question is Herman Broch's <span style="font-style: italic;">The Death of Virgil</span>, which is much less a novel than it is a weapon of last resort developed in concentration camps for use against the Nazis.<br /><br />The book is written in stream of consciousness fashion -- think <span style="font-style: italic;">Finnegan's Wake</span> with half the cleverness and twice the pretension. Bosch attempts to capture the complexity of a classical symphony in language: recurring themes, exaggeration of tempo, and so forth. What this boils down to are highly repetitive sentences of amazing length -- some so many pages long that they have to be broken up arbitrarily into paragraphs, probably due to some publisher's equivalent of the Geneva Conventions.<br /><br />It is this grandiose goal which proves the downfall of the novel, for it has quite good things to say about the nature of art, the duty of the artist, and the philosophy of death, as it were. Barring the exceedingly distracting hallucinatory episodes, there is a compelling portrait of Virgil and his times. With some restraint, either limiting the too-clever-by-half use of language, or leaving it to another (hopefully shorter) work, this could have been quite a powerful novel.<br /><br />In the end, it is a prime candidate for the Emersonian technique: skim the book lightly and quickly, letting your eyes discover for themselves what they may, rather than attempting any deep or thorough immersion in the text.mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-59389210141557795312009-01-28T02:53:00.004-05:002009-01-30T04:12:56.955-05:00booklog<span style="font-style: italic;">Christopher Marlowe: Poet and Spy</span>, Honan. Good, but a bit too academic for the casual reader.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Nothing Like The Sun</span>, Burgess. Shakespeare considered as a protagonist. Enjoyable, especially in tandem with the above.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Electric Church</span>, Somers. Truly painfully-written first novel in the cyberpunk vein; I damn near developed a tic in the first chapter, I was wincing so often. Good idea-fiction, though, and by the end of the novel I was enjoying myself immensely.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Tin House</span> #37<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">On Writing</span>, King. A short biography and a short reminisce on the trade of writing by the only man who can be said to truly understand it. Highly, highly recommended, and not just for aspiring writers.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Down and Out in Shoreditch and Hoxton</span>, Home. I generally like Stewart Home and his de Sade style of porno-philosophic writing: <span style="font-style: italic;">Red London</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">Slow Death</span>, and <span style="font-style: italic;">69 Things To Do With a Dead Princess</span> were all excellent. <span style="font-style: italic;">Down and Out</span>, with its Orwell-inspired title (but not theme, unfortunately), was quite a disappointment.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">In Praise of Folly</span>, Erasmus. I can't recall what made me read this again, but it was mostly as bad as the first time. There are 10 or 20 good pages about 50 pages in, but for the most part it is only of historical (read: academic) interest.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Moon and Sixpence</span>, Maugham. One of the best books there is about a misanthrope.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">The Productive Programmer</span>, Ford. Tips on being a more productive programmer. If you need to read it, then you definitely should.mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-67174590234624526322008-06-27T17:31:00.003-04:002008-06-27T18:03:07.710-04:00ShamoThis adaptation of a manga about a fighter would have been better served by abandoning its source material entirely. The story (a young man gets sent to prison for killing his parents and emerges a tough martial artist) and the character (a vicious, wronged thug who lacks the wits or skill to win a match) are good enough to sustain interest, but the exposition and the lack of any cohesion to the scenes ultimately make the film a bit of a disappointment.<br /><br />From the director of Dog Bite Dog, one would expect a gritty, grim tale, and indeed one is provided: Shamo must mean "shat upon by society". Nice touches abound throughout: the Johnny Walker-swilling sensei, the gaudily-dressed prostitute love(?)-interest, and even The Beast (<span style="font-style: italic;">Kung Fu Hustle</span>) as the head of the top martial arts gym.<br /><br />Ranks with <span style="font-style: italic;">Zebraman</span> for one of the best martial arts finishing moves out there.<br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br />Shamo (<a href="http://www.subwaycinema.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=76&Itemid=80">NYAFF</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1029238/">IMDB</a>)<br /><br />Wince : [****_]<br />Flinch : [****_]<br />Retch : [***__]<br />Gape : [**___]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [****_]<br />Pornability : [**___]<br />Obscurity : [**___]<br />Explicability : [***__]mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-8615036841914035482008-06-27T17:30:00.011-04:002011-08-05T01:05:02.609-04:00The Most Beautiful Night in the WorldWhat does one expect, exactly, from a three-hour movie about sex?<br />
<br />
Well, certainly not two hours of a newly-transferred reporter trying to earn his way back to the city by finding a scoop on any one of the village locals.<br />
<br />
The story basically goes as follows. Many years ago, the Jomon tribe maintained an paralleled birth rate due to their use of powerful aphrodisiacs. Eventually, they were slaughtered by jealous neighboring tribes who weren't getting laid. Years later, a medium with a lethal embrace and a terrorist master of the art of hung fu rediscover the source of the Jomon's power.<br />
<br />
There's a lot going on in this movie, but very little to tell: it's good, it's fun, it's unique, and it makes you want to save the world through shagging.<br />
<br />
* * * R A T I N G * * *<br />
<br />
The Most Beautiful Night in the World (<a href="http://www.subwaycinema.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=82&Itemid=80">NYAFF</a>)<br />
<br />
Wince : [*____]<br />
Flinch : [**___]<br />
Retch : [**___]<br />
Gape : [****_]<br />
<br />
Beerequisite : [***__]<br />
Pornability : [***__]<br />
Obscurity : [***__]<br />
Explicability : [****_]<br />
<br />
Catchphrase: Jomon Power!mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-6763650229867552992008-06-27T17:30:00.007-04:002008-06-27T17:47:05.103-04:00Mad DetectiveA detective solves crimes by a combination of method acting and being able to see people's true selves. Of course, he can also see his former wife, and nobody else can -- but that doesn't mean he's crazy, right?<br /><br />Things get interesting when the obvious villain of the piece appears, all seven personalities (played by some Johnnie To regulars) in tow. The Mad Detective teams up with a young, ambitious cop to help him solve the case of ... the Missing Gun. Well, the case involves a Murdered Policeman as well, but no-one seems to care, really.<br /><br />Good crazy police fun, if a bit disorderly at times.<br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br />Sun taam (<a href="http://www.subwaycinema.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=48&Itemid=80">NYAFF</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0969269/">IMDB</a>)<br /><br />Wince : [**___]<br />Flinch : [***__]<br />Retch : [***__]<br />Gape : [***__]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [**___]<br />Pornability : [*____]<br />Obscurity : [**___]<br />Explicability : [****_]mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-12902637293692765672008-06-27T17:03:00.002-04:002008-06-27T17:30:37.604-04:00The ButcherHow bad is bad? Pretty bad, apparently.<br /><br />Shot in POV on a low-resolution camera, this grainy mess had the potential to be a convincing simu-snuff film: five victims with cameras tied to their heads await their turn to be tortured, in pairs, as evidence of the head honcho's cinematic genius.<br /><br />All of the elements of good torture porn are here: the (too-long) buildup as the victims hear their companions be slaughtered (albeit rather quickly), the "do or die" session where a victim is granted his freedom if he can stand the pain, and the inevitable loss of loyalty to friends, family, and country that comes with being tortured. And a gimp^H^H^H^Hbutcher in a pig's mask whose special technique has less to do with a chainsaw and more to do with a grunting prison nightmare.<br /><br />Unfortunately, the first two thirds of this movie are wasted in a POV shot of someone's feet accompanied by frantic panting noises, and the last third is wasted in a POV shot of someone driving a car. Sandwiched in between, briefly, are a couple of bloody but not terribly cringeworthy scenes involving a chainsaw (who the hell tortures with a chainsaw, anyways?), a hammer, and a knife. Nope, not even a scalpel.<br /><br />Oh, and expect the usual unconvincing acting (even in Korean!) and poor subtitles.<br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br />The Butcher (<a href="http://www.subwaycinema.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=69&Itemid=80">NYAFF</a>)<br /><br />Wince : [*****]<br />Flinch : [***__]<br />Retch : [***__]<br />Gape : [***__]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [****_]<br />Pornability : [*____] (**, depending on your tastes)<br />Obscurity : [****_]<br />Explicability : [**___]mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-37943990702086788452008-06-27T16:37:00.002-04:002008-06-27T17:19:54.693-04:00Big Man JapanMonster mockumentary about a film crew following the last of the 'Dai Nipponjin': Japanese men who, when hooked up to a power plant, grow to the size of giant monsters to defend Tokyo from the likes of Godzilla.<br /><br />Times have changed, though, and the latest Dai Nipponjin commands none of the respect of his predecessors. And let's face it: he doesn't deserve it. He's dumb as a brick, he can't fight, he never trains, and his opponents could be soundly defeated by ... well, by him, or really anyone in the area who takes an interest.<br /><br />Eventually the film crew becomes as disgusted with him as his agent is, and their coverage becomes more candid (and thus more humiliating) as the film goes on. We're not dealing with a sympathetic underdog, here; by the end of the film, you're rooting for his defeat along with the entire population of Tokyo.<br /><br />The climax of the film arrives with Dai Nipponjin's great moment of truth, paving the way for a deus-ex-machine ending which, while gathering the largest laughs in the film, doesn't quite convince you that the producers stayed within budget.<br /><br />Very fun, instant classic, all that. You'll be calling everything a Baddie after this one.<br /><br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br />Dai Nipponjin (<a href="http://www.subwaycinema.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=60&Itemid=80">NYAFF</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0997147/">IMDB</a>)<br /><br />Wince : [***__]<br />Flinch : [**___]<br />Retch : [*____]<br />Gape : [****_]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [**___]<br />Pornability : [*____] (*** for Stinky Baddies)<br />Obscurity : [**___]<br />Explicability : [****_]mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-74285763601081004072008-06-27T16:35:00.005-04:002008-06-27T17:03:07.901-04:00Chanbara BeautyInspired by a video game, y'say? Hard to tell.<br /><br />There's only one way to ruin a movie about a bikini-clad cowgirl slicing up zombies in a post-apocalyptic world as she hunts down her Japanese-schoolgirl rival, and that's with exposition. Slow, plodding exposition in and around every fight scene. Which themselves are filmed in the jerky digicam style that works well for riots, gang beatings and zombies, but which screams "We couldn't get a choreographer!" when applied to martial arts.<br /><br />The action is dull, the attempts to further the plot are worse, the zombies oscillate between skilled/intelligent and slow-moving/dull-witted without any discernible pattern, the bikini is too large and the sword is too small. There's just not much to like here, even the tacked-on manga-style ending.<br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br />OneChanbara (<a href="http://www.subwaycinema.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=79&Itemid=80">NYAFF</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1192613/">IMDB</a>)<br /><br />Wince : [****_]<br />Flinch : [**___]<br />Retch : [**___]<br />Gape : [***__]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [*****]<br />Pornability : [**___]<br />Obscurity : [**___]<br />Explicability : [***__]mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-63258764062822236892008-06-27T16:33:00.003-04:002008-06-27T16:56:02.627-04:00Adrift in TokyoThe people behind <span style="font-style: italic;">Turtles Swim Faster Than Expected</span> bring this similarly absurdist, more pointless tale of a walkabout.<br /><br />A perpetual student who is behind in his debts is visited by a collection agent who, having killed his wife and decided to surrender himself to the police, offers to forgive the debt in exchange for company on his walk to the police station.<br /><br />The result is an ambling tour of Tokyo as the two characters reminisce and encounter individuals of all sorts: a violent tatami-mat vendor, an elderly costumed locker room thief, well-known actor<span style="font-size: 10pt; font-family: Arial;"> Ittoku Kishibe, </span> a vengeful watch repairman, a baby hippopotamus, and a roller-skating guitarist. In fact, the only people they don't run into are the three coworkers of his wife (the spy couple and ramen chef from <span style="font-style: italic;">Turtles</span>), who try to track her down in the midst of life's daily distractions (e.g. hair smelling funny, being cast as extras in a film, etc).<br /><br />Unfortunately the leisurely stroll ends about halfway through the film, as the characters bond and try to reach some form of resolution.<br /><br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br />Tenten(<a href="http://www.subwaycinema.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=58&Itemid=80">NYAFF</a>, <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1098226/">IMDB</a>)<br /><br />Wince : [**___]<br />Flinch : [**___]<br />Retch : [*____]<br />Gape : [***__]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [***__]<br />Pornability : [*____]<br />Obscurity : [**___]<br />Explicability : [**___]mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-87996761880516348622008-02-23T17:39:00.004-05:002008-04-02T19:24:55.620-04:00MandingoLame Hammond Maxwell goes to town and buys a proper Mandingo slave named Mede (beating a lonely German woman at the bidding), who he trains to be a fighter. Hammond has a thing for the female slaves himself, and his jealous wife decides to reciprocate by forcing herself on the strapping young buck. Hijinks, hilarity, and a bunch of other h-words ensue.<br /><br />Standout performance by James Mason as straight-talking patriarch Warren Maxwell, whose untimely death was cheered by the bulk of the audience I saw this with, and sadly lamented by myself. Ingrained racist though he was, Maxwell seemed to be the only character in the film with a lick of good sense.<br /><br />All sorts of good stuff in this one: bloodsport, slavery, mint juleps, abortions, lynchings. A real trip to the dilapidated mansions down south.<br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br /><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0073349/">Mandingo (IMDB)</a><br /><br />Wince : [**___]<br />Flinch : [***__]<br />Retch : [*____]<br />Gape : [**___]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [***__]<br />Pornability : [**___]<br />Obscurity : [***__]<br />Explicability : [****_]<br /><br />Scene Stealer: Topaz!mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-26008967028300858002008-02-23T00:12:00.008-05:002008-08-04T03:21:00.387-04:00The Wayward CloudThe master of the long take brings us his Ode To The Watermelon: a musical about love, lust, pronography, crabs, drought, and urban alienation.<br /><br />There is truly no way to do this film justice with simple narrative. If you haven't seen it, run right out and to the following:<br /><br />1. Buy a watermelon<br />2. Find a victim<br />3. Watch <span style="font-style: italic;">The Wayward Cloud</span><br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br /><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0445760/">Tian bian yi duo yun (IMDB)</a><br /><br />Wince : [**___]<br />Flinch : [**___]<br />Retch : [**___]<br />Gape : [*****]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [***__]<br />Pornability : [*****]<br />Obscurity : [***__]<br />Explicability : [*____]<br /><br />Awards:<br /> *Best integration of a random corpse (or, at the risk of overusing the phrase, the application of Chekov's Corpse, as you know exactly where it will end up) into the storyline.<br /><br /> * Least quotable. Was there any dialog that didn't consist of grunting?<br /><br />Best Musical Sequence: The umbrellas or the plungers? The plungers, definitely. Though the umbrella song is far superior.mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-58650809547770684852008-02-23T00:12:00.006-05:002008-04-02T19:07:46.061-04:00Gangster VIPFresh-from-prison (on a murder rap!) yakuza Goro returns to his turf and finds things radically changed: his gang are now losers, getting the short end of the stick from the other gangs.<br /><br />After things get bad and Goro loses a finger, he decides to force a confrontation with a rival gang, which doesn't seem to have been a good plan in retrospect.<br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br /><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0062850/">Burai yori daikanbu (IMDB)</a><br /><br />Wince : [*****]<br />Flinch : [*____]<br />Retch : [_____]<br />Gape : [*____]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [*****]<br />Pornability : [*____]<br />Obscurity : [***__]<br />Explicability : [**___]<br /><br />Reality Check: Flailing about in the mud is the new martial art school, eh? Really hands it to those in the hitting-like-a-girl school.<br /><br />Lessons Learned: When trading your finger for the release of your friend, demand to see him first.mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-54820549655288597012008-02-22T15:04:00.006-05:002009-02-13T15:51:47.465-05:00Donnie DarkoEver have one of those days where a jet engine destroys your room and a man in a bunny suit starts advising criminal activity? Young Donnie has them all the time.<br /><br />OK, cult classic, coming of age film, the high-school trauma of misfits, blah blah blah. The film is successful in portraying its sociopathic protagonist in a sympathetic light. There's an end-of-the-world thread with no payoff, and a rather vague and hand-wavy time travel (or rather, hole in the fabric of space and time) wrap-up at the end.<br /><br />All in all, enjoyable to watch once, but probably not more than that, and certainly a little disappointing after all of the hype (or whatever the cult film equivalent is) these past few years.<br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br /><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0246578/">Donnie Darko (IMDB)</a><br /><br />Wince : [***__]<br />Flinch : [*____]<br />Retch : [*____]<br />Gape : [***__]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [****_]<br />Pornability : [_____]<br />Obscurity : [*____]<br />Explicability : [**___]<br /><br />Standout bits: Cool bunny costume.mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5134172620810532461.post-17230825297235623132008-02-18T19:15:00.002-05:002008-04-02T18:51:27.184-04:00CaramelA romantic comedy centered around a beauty shop (and the crazy homeless lady next door).<br /><br />It seems odd to label a Lebanese rom-com formulaic, but so it is: the non-virgin must find a way to appear pure on her wedding night, a woman having an affair with a married man cannot get him to leave his wife for her, a lesbian hairdresser is looking for love, and so on.<br /><br />The titular caramel is used for hair removal, offering the only painful scenes in the film.<br /><br />* * * R A T I N G * * *<br /><br /><a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0825236/">Sukkar banat (IMDB)</a><br /><br />Wince : [*____]<br />Flinch : [**___]<br />Retch : [_____]<br />Gape : [_____]<br /><br />Beerequisite : [*____]<br />Pornability : [_____]<br />Obscurity : [**___]<br />Explicability : [****_]mkfshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10211910723613676910noreply@blogger.com0