Two brothers open a vegetarian diner (well, it serves vegetarians, often to other vegetarians) after exhuming their sorcerer/serial-killer father and transplanting his still-living eyes and brain into a jar in order to guide them in their virgin-mutilating (and sewing back together) quest to reincarnate the five-million-year-old goddess Shitar.
Quite a mouthful, eh? And I didn't even mention the zombie-rock concert finale!
This film truly has everything. A must-see, and see-again.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Blood Diner (IMDB)
Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [***__]
Gape : [****_]
Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [****_]
Explicability : [**___]
Reality Check: Wait, the human race is HOW old again?
Character Most Likely to be Reborn as a WWF Star: Little Jimmy Hitler
Things I've Never Seen Before: Did he just cut off his own penis and threaten to use it as a weapon?
Other Notable Moments:
* Ouch! Killed by a deep fryer in the most horrible head-battered fashion!
* Who is manning that ventriloquist dummy?
* Topless Aerobics! Yay!
* Another Hitler?
* It's the build-your-own-cheerleader store!
* "The killer was last seen with a knife in one hand, and his genitals in the other."
Showing posts with label black magic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label black magic. Show all posts
Monday, February 18, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
The Slaughter
"You can't spell slaughter without laughter!" And apparently you can film The Slaughter without a slaughter.
Six college students (the jock! the slut! the misfit! the valedictorian! the pothead! the other one!) with a crappy job (clean up an abandoned house, where have I heard that before) are attacked by a racked demoness. Throw in a sleazy corporate exec and his aide, drop some blood on a buried occult book, stir, and let set.
OK, there are some potentially funny references to other horror films ("what kind of zombies are those?", "we're not going to split up like they do in the horror films"), but the timing is quite bad, and the quality of the acting isn't exactly top-notch either.
Ultimately an enjoyable college-kids-killed-by-demons-and-zombies film, though it does overreach a bit.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
The Slaughter (IMDB)
Wince : [*****]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [***__]
Gape : [***__]
Beerequisite : [*****]
Pornability : [***__]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]
Important zombie fact: In addition to slow-moving Dawn of the Dead zombies and fast, kung-fu master Evil Dead zombies, there are slow-moving-with-fast-reflexes Slaughter zombies.
Six college students (the jock! the slut! the misfit! the valedictorian! the pothead! the other one!) with a crappy job (clean up an abandoned house, where have I heard that before) are attacked by a racked demoness. Throw in a sleazy corporate exec and his aide, drop some blood on a buried occult book, stir, and let set.
OK, there are some potentially funny references to other horror films ("what kind of zombies are those?", "we're not going to split up like they do in the horror films"), but the timing is quite bad, and the quality of the acting isn't exactly top-notch either.
Ultimately an enjoyable college-kids-killed-by-demons-and-zombies film, though it does overreach a bit.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
The Slaughter (IMDB)
Wince : [*****]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [***__]
Gape : [***__]
Beerequisite : [*****]
Pornability : [***__]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]
Important zombie fact: In addition to slow-moving Dawn of the Dead zombies and fast, kung-fu master Evil Dead zombies, there are slow-moving-with-fast-reflexes Slaughter zombies.
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