Ah, those wacky Italians and their strange customs.
An aristocrat in a small Sicilian town has tired of his wife and fallen in love with his jailbait cousin. Given the impossibility of divorce under Roman Catholicism, he decides he should catch his wife in an affair and murder her on the spot in order to escape his marital woes and win the girl of his dreams. A dry and rather cynical comedy of errors inevitably ensues.
Marcello Mastroianni is of course fantastic, gradually developing a nervous tic as his plans come closer and closer to failure. The film abounds in details that are understated yet poignant: the pencilled-in unibrow and moustache of the wife that only appear during moments of intimacy, the conveyance of respect or scorn by the townspeople through their background actions, even the husband's occasional fantasies of his wife's untimely demise. And who can forget the maid-groping grandfather?
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Divorzio all'italiana (IMDB)
Wince : [**___]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [_____]
Gape : [**___]
Beerequisite : [**___]
Pornability : [_____]
Obscurity : [**___]
Explicability : [****_]
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
My Super Ex-Girlfriend
As if there weren't enough existential questions keeping me up nights, I've stumbled across another one: How the hell did Hollywood produce something this funny?
Most people should remember this film: when it was released, billboards and buses were plastered with advertisements for it. Which is a huge mistake, because the people who would like this type of movie are also the ones who refuse to see anything advertised via saturation bombing.
The plot is evident from the title: some guy dates a superheroine named G-Girl, breaks up with her, and suffers the fury of a wonder woman scorned. The gags can be predictable but are well timed and funny as hell; there's a car, a shark, a chainsaw, and a meteor chucked in at odd moments to keep things interesting. And Eddie Izzard has some plot to destroy G-Girl by stripping her of her powers.
All that, and a supergirl-catfight thrown in at the end. How can you go wrong?
* * * R A T I N G * * *
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (IMDB)
Wince : [**___]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [***__]
Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [*____]
Explicability : [***__]
Most people should remember this film: when it was released, billboards and buses were plastered with advertisements for it. Which is a huge mistake, because the people who would like this type of movie are also the ones who refuse to see anything advertised via saturation bombing.
The plot is evident from the title: some guy dates a superheroine named G-Girl, breaks up with her, and suffers the fury of a wonder woman scorned. The gags can be predictable but are well timed and funny as hell; there's a car, a shark, a chainsaw, and a meteor chucked in at odd moments to keep things interesting. And Eddie Izzard has some plot to destroy G-Girl by stripping her of her powers.
All that, and a supergirl-catfight thrown in at the end. How can you go wrong?
* * * R A T I N G * * *
My Super Ex-Girlfriend (IMDB)
Wince : [**___]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [***__]
Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [*____]
Explicability : [***__]
Diva
A postman makes a bootleg recording of an opera singer, steals her dress (I'd assumed to masturbate onto, and I wasn't far off), gets mixed up with a white slavery ring, and is pursued through Paris by a Taiwanese record label and a Carribean crime syndicate. Throw in a moped chase through the Metro and an underaged asian gal for good measure, and you end up with quite a good film.
There's a lot to like about this one : a throwing awl (a nice complement to Master of the Flying Guillotine's Indian throwing owl), a cat named Ayatollha, the Zen of toast. As the pace picks up, so does the cinematography, and towards the end of the film there are some very beautiful shots.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Diva (IMDB)
Wince : [_____]
Flinch : [*____]
Retch : [_____]
Gape : [**___]
Beerequisite : [_____]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [*____]
Explicability : [***__]
There's a lot to like about this one : a throwing awl (a nice complement to Master of the Flying Guillotine's Indian throwing owl), a cat named Ayatollha, the Zen of toast. As the pace picks up, so does the cinematography, and towards the end of the film there are some very beautiful shots.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Diva (IMDB)
Wince : [_____]
Flinch : [*____]
Retch : [_____]
Gape : [**___]
Beerequisite : [_____]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [*____]
Explicability : [***__]
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Electric Apricot
It is very, very difficult to describe this film without using the word 'mockumentary' or invoking Spinal Tap. So why try?
A camera crew (well OK, 1 guy with a videocamera) follows the jam band Electric Apricot (nee Electric Knectarine) as they play a few gigs, record their first album, and achieve their dream of playing at Oregon jam band festival Festeroo.
Done to death, you say? No sir, not when it's written and directed by, not to mention starring, bass guru and all-around oddball Les Claypool. The humor is top-notch, as disparaging of its subject as the original Tap and coupled with enough musician insider insight (how long to set up a drum kit?) to keep what should be a worn-out subject from getting stale.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Electric Apricot (IMDB)
Wince : [*____]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [***__]
Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [_____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [*****]
Favorite character: The Dead-hating bartender. Really made all that 'Jerry lives!' stuff much easier to take.
Orgazmo inbreeding: Keep an eye out for Choda Boy as the assistant studio technician, and Matt "I'm not gay or nuthing" Stone as a tapehead.
Lagunitas placement: It's everywhere from the guitarist's t-shirt to every beer the band drinks. Viva Lagunitas!
A camera crew (well OK, 1 guy with a videocamera) follows the jam band Electric Apricot (nee Electric Knectarine) as they play a few gigs, record their first album, and achieve their dream of playing at Oregon jam band festival Festeroo.
Done to death, you say? No sir, not when it's written and directed by, not to mention starring, bass guru and all-around oddball Les Claypool. The humor is top-notch, as disparaging of its subject as the original Tap and coupled with enough musician insider insight (how long to set up a drum kit?) to keep what should be a worn-out subject from getting stale.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Electric Apricot (IMDB)
Wince : [*____]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [***__]
Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [_____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [*****]
Favorite character: The Dead-hating bartender. Really made all that 'Jerry lives!' stuff much easier to take.
Orgazmo inbreeding: Keep an eye out for Choda Boy as the assistant studio technician, and Matt "I'm not gay or nuthing" Stone as a tapehead.
Lagunitas placement: It's everywhere from the guitarist's t-shirt to every beer the band drinks. Viva Lagunitas!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
The Warped Ones
What's Japanese for A Clockwork Orange? Kyonetsu no kisetsu! This movie plays out like the first act of Clockwork, with Akira and his pals plucking motorcars from the trees, taking pretty Polly, and all that -- all to a cool jazz soundtrack. There's some manner of a plot involving Akira raping a girl and her falling in love with him, and Masaru moving into big-time gangsterdom, though these seem inconsequential even as they unfold.
The real joy of this film is watching Tamio Kawaji sneer his way through society, insolent and barbaric without an ounce of respect in his body. It is truly a wonder to watch: the simple act of eating a fruit or reading a newspaper becomes a vehement rejection of society.
A truly worthy member of the proto-punk canon.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Kyonetsu no kisetsu (IMDB)
Wince : [*____]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [****_]
Beerequisite : [*____]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [**___]
Explicability : [***__]
Most over-the-top 'holy crap!' moment: The chicken. Saying any more would ruin it.
Biggest gasp from the well-off audience in the UES theater I saw this at: Yuki pleading with Akira to defile her fiance in the same way that he had defiled her, apparently so they would have something in common.
Best unintentionally humorous cross-cultural scene: The Japanese patrons of the Jazz club bopping their heads to the crazy beat.
Best unintentionally homoerotic scene: Akira and Gill going for a swim. What the hell did these guys think they were filming?
The real joy of this film is watching Tamio Kawaji sneer his way through society, insolent and barbaric without an ounce of respect in his body. It is truly a wonder to watch: the simple act of eating a fruit or reading a newspaper becomes a vehement rejection of society.
A truly worthy member of the proto-punk canon.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Kyonetsu no kisetsu (IMDB)
Wince : [*____]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [****_]
Beerequisite : [*____]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [**___]
Explicability : [***__]
Most over-the-top 'holy crap!' moment: The chicken. Saying any more would ruin it.
Biggest gasp from the well-off audience in the UES theater I saw this at: Yuki pleading with Akira to defile her fiance in the same way that he had defiled her, apparently so they would have something in common.
Best unintentionally humorous cross-cultural scene: The Japanese patrons of the Jazz club bopping their heads to the crazy beat.
Best unintentionally homoerotic scene: Akira and Gill going for a swim. What the hell did these guys think they were filming?
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Confessions of a Superhero
Four aspiring actors struggle to make a living by impersonating costumed superheroes (Superman, Batman, the Hulk, and Wonder Woman) on Hollywood Boulevard.
While some attempt is made at depicting the plight of the aspiring actor in Los Angeles (where it sometimes feels like everyone is waiting for their 'big break' into acting, directing, or script writing), this is basically a character study: Superman is obsessive (and compulsive, according to his psych-major girlfriend) about the Man of Steel, Batman has delusions of bad-assery worthy of Steven Seagal himself, Wonder Woman is a naive country gal who wonders (hah!) why success isn't coming to her as easily as back home, and the Hulk ended up homeless after arriving in LA during the Rodney King riots.
There is no attempt to depict the characters in a flattering light; Batman's boasts of his various martial arts black belts are followed by footage of his sensei correcting his form in the most basic of white-belt moves, and candid interviews with the heroes' significant others reveal that the audience aren't the only ones thinking these guys are a few capes short of a Justice League.
At the end of the film, though, you have to hand it to the Hulk (Joseph McQueen). Not only has he refused to sink into the mire of self-delusion that has taken hold of the other characters, but by the end of the movie he's been given a cameo part in the Breeze Loo film-within-a-film of Finishing the Game!
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Confessions of a Superhero (IMDB)
Wince : [****_]
Flinch : [*____]
Retch : [_____]
Gape : [**___]
Beerequisite : [*****]
Pornability : [_____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [****_]
While some attempt is made at depicting the plight of the aspiring actor in Los Angeles (where it sometimes feels like everyone is waiting for their 'big break' into acting, directing, or script writing), this is basically a character study: Superman is obsessive (and compulsive, according to his psych-major girlfriend) about the Man of Steel, Batman has delusions of bad-assery worthy of Steven Seagal himself, Wonder Woman is a naive country gal who wonders (hah!) why success isn't coming to her as easily as back home, and the Hulk ended up homeless after arriving in LA during the Rodney King riots.
There is no attempt to depict the characters in a flattering light; Batman's boasts of his various martial arts black belts are followed by footage of his sensei correcting his form in the most basic of white-belt moves, and candid interviews with the heroes' significant others reveal that the audience aren't the only ones thinking these guys are a few capes short of a Justice League.
At the end of the film, though, you have to hand it to the Hulk (Joseph McQueen). Not only has he refused to sink into the mire of self-delusion that has taken hold of the other characters, but by the end of the movie he's been given a cameo part in the Breeze Loo film-within-a-film of Finishing the Game!
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Confessions of a Superhero (IMDB)
Wince : [****_]
Flinch : [*____]
Retch : [_____]
Gape : [**___]
Beerequisite : [*****]
Pornability : [_____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [****_]
Friday, November 2, 2007
Defenceless
I knew from the DVD box that this was dialog-free, but when I saw the subtitle "A Blood Symphony" I thought, "Uh-oh. This is no Aria." And it wasn't.
The film consists of a typical rape/revenge plot set entirely to music. This is not a bad idea: with a suitable score, a brilliant choreographer, and lurid visuals, this could be quite effective. In Defenceless, though, the music is not at all choreographed to the events on-screen, and in fact rarely changes from the inane classical pieces. The acting is hammed-up and unnatural, and the violence is jaw-droppingly unconvincing. This last one is really a sore point for me in low-budget slasher films: have none of these directors seen Doom Generation? Katiebird? It doesn't take a big budget to produce convincing violence, but it does take talent.
As far as rape/revenge films go, the plot of this is fairly standard, though the events are presented in such as way as to make them unbelievable. A woman refuses to sign a contract with her three business partners (to get her land, according to the DVD box, though this is not conveyed in the film), apparently changing her mind at the last minute (I say this because a contract signing party is generally not the time to express your concerns about the deal). Her partners have her husband killed, and send her photos with a note saying "You should have signed the contract BITCH" (I'm not making this up).
Like any rational person provided with direct evidence of a murder, she tries to kill herself. Some random woman nurses her back to life, falls in love with her, gets raped and killed by the business partners who send a video of this to the main character. Again she tries to kill herself. She takes her son to the beach, is raped and murdered by her business partners who apparently throw her body into the sea (evidently this was too difficult to film).
Nine months later she washes ashore, a cannibal corpse that sleeps in a tidal pool and is bent on revenge. Sort of. After a housewife shows her the articles about the death of her and her family at the hands of her business partners who, in a really heavy-handed piece of exposition, were cleared of murder charges. She kills the three of them in ways that would be gruesome and unsettling if they were, in fact, gruesome and unsettling.
Looking at the IMDB comments for this, it seems that people are afraid to give a negative review in case they are accused of not understanding it, not being prepared for it, or not liking art-house cinema. Well, I understand it, I was prepared for it, and I do not shy away from art-house cinema, so I'll be the one to say it: this movie is BAD.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Defenseless (IMDB)
Wince : [*****]
Flinch : [*____]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [*____]
Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [**___]
What I would do different: This movie could probably have been saved with tight editing and a proper score.
Sub-genre concerns: Why is it that every murder/revenge movie (e.g. family killed by the Mob) has five minutes of background and 90 minutes of revenge, but every rape/revenge movie has 90 minutes of background and five minutes of revenge?
The film consists of a typical rape/revenge plot set entirely to music. This is not a bad idea: with a suitable score, a brilliant choreographer, and lurid visuals, this could be quite effective. In Defenceless, though, the music is not at all choreographed to the events on-screen, and in fact rarely changes from the inane classical pieces. The acting is hammed-up and unnatural, and the violence is jaw-droppingly unconvincing. This last one is really a sore point for me in low-budget slasher films: have none of these directors seen Doom Generation? Katiebird? It doesn't take a big budget to produce convincing violence, but it does take talent.
As far as rape/revenge films go, the plot of this is fairly standard, though the events are presented in such as way as to make them unbelievable. A woman refuses to sign a contract with her three business partners (to get her land, according to the DVD box, though this is not conveyed in the film), apparently changing her mind at the last minute (I say this because a contract signing party is generally not the time to express your concerns about the deal). Her partners have her husband killed, and send her photos with a note saying "You should have signed the contract BITCH" (I'm not making this up).
Like any rational person provided with direct evidence of a murder, she tries to kill herself. Some random woman nurses her back to life, falls in love with her, gets raped and killed by the business partners who send a video of this to the main character. Again she tries to kill herself. She takes her son to the beach, is raped and murdered by her business partners who apparently throw her body into the sea (evidently this was too difficult to film).
Nine months later she washes ashore, a cannibal corpse that sleeps in a tidal pool and is bent on revenge. Sort of. After a housewife shows her the articles about the death of her and her family at the hands of her business partners who, in a really heavy-handed piece of exposition, were cleared of murder charges. She kills the three of them in ways that would be gruesome and unsettling if they were, in fact, gruesome and unsettling.
Looking at the IMDB comments for this, it seems that people are afraid to give a negative review in case they are accused of not understanding it, not being prepared for it, or not liking art-house cinema. Well, I understand it, I was prepared for it, and I do not shy away from art-house cinema, so I'll be the one to say it: this movie is BAD.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Defenseless (IMDB)
Wince : [*****]
Flinch : [*____]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [*____]
Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [**___]
What I would do different: This movie could probably have been saved with tight editing and a proper score.
Sub-genre concerns: Why is it that every murder/revenge movie (e.g. family killed by the Mob) has five minutes of background and 90 minutes of revenge, but every rape/revenge movie has 90 minutes of background and five minutes of revenge?
The Hamiltons
A family of blood-swilling serial killers has moved to Petaluma, and are just trying to fit in.
This movie really has a lot going for it: the pacing is good; the acting is, well, good enough; the story unfolds nicely. Its greatest asset is probably its ambiguity: throughout the film, you are uncertain as to who is a sympathetic character, or even what the nature of the movie truly is. I was struck by the way the film shied away from gore, which is a staple of any serial killer film, but by the end I could understand the decision.
I think the directors took the film a tad too seriously, especially with the whole "we could be living next to you right now" narration at the end (not to mention the handling of Lenny), but on the whole it was a decent film.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
The Hamiltons (IMDB)
Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [**___]
Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]
Favorite line even though I saw it coming: "Here, kitty kitty!"
What I would do different: Shot the entire thing through the younger brother's video camera, keeping the slow buildup but providing it the kind of 'found object' feel that Blair Witch tried for and making it much more personal.
This movie really has a lot going for it: the pacing is good; the acting is, well, good enough; the story unfolds nicely. Its greatest asset is probably its ambiguity: throughout the film, you are uncertain as to who is a sympathetic character, or even what the nature of the movie truly is. I was struck by the way the film shied away from gore, which is a staple of any serial killer film, but by the end I could understand the decision.
I think the directors took the film a tad too seriously, especially with the whole "we could be living next to you right now" narration at the end (not to mention the handling of Lenny), but on the whole it was a decent film.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
The Hamiltons (IMDB)
Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [**___]
Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]
Favorite line even though I saw it coming: "Here, kitty kitty!"
What I would do different: Shot the entire thing through the younger brother's video camera, keeping the slow buildup but providing it the kind of 'found object' feel that Blair Witch tried for and making it much more personal.
Dynamite Warrior
I love this movie. Rockets, rockets, rockets, rockets. Sure the acting isn't all that great, the story is needlessly convoluted, and Muay Thai is a poor choice for a martial arts epic, but the man has turned rocketry into a martial art. He rides them, powers carts with them, launches a fusillade of them at his enemies. You want rockets? We got 'em.
The absurdity of the story only adds to the charm. A tractor salesman is tired of the competition from water buffalo, so he hires bandits to take out the buffalo traders. The most successful trader is a magician, so the entrepeneur teams up with a rival magician to defeat him. In the course of this he crosses paths with Jone Bang Fai, a legendary warrior who is looking for the tattooed cattle thief who killed his parents and left him to be raised by Rocket Monks.
Apparently this movie tanked in Thailand; the acting and humor turned off most theater-goers, and the endless knee-drops turned off the rest. It was a crowd pleaser at NYAFF, though, and sure to be entertaining if you only watch it for the rockets.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Khon fai bin (IMDB)
Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [***__]
Beerequisite : [*****]
Pornability : [_____]
Obscurity : [**___]
Explicability : [**___]
The absurdity of the story only adds to the charm. A tractor salesman is tired of the competition from water buffalo, so he hires bandits to take out the buffalo traders. The most successful trader is a magician, so the entrepeneur teams up with a rival magician to defeat him. In the course of this he crosses paths with Jone Bang Fai, a legendary warrior who is looking for the tattooed cattle thief who killed his parents and left him to be raised by Rocket Monks.
Apparently this movie tanked in Thailand; the acting and humor turned off most theater-goers, and the endless knee-drops turned off the rest. It was a crowd pleaser at NYAFF, though, and sure to be entertaining if you only watch it for the rockets.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Khon fai bin (IMDB)
Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [***__]
Beerequisite : [*****]
Pornability : [_____]
Obscurity : [**___]
Explicability : [**___]
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