The Wayward Cloud

The master of the long take brings us his Ode To The Watermelon: a musical about love, lust, pronography, crabs, drought, and urban alienation.

There is truly no way to do this film justice with simple narrative. If you haven't seen it, run right out and to the following:

1. Buy a watermelon
2. Find a victim
3. Watch The Wayward Cloud

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Tian bian yi duo yun (IMDB)

Wince : [**___]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [*****]

Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [*****]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [*____]

Awards:
*Best integration of a random corpse (or, at the risk of overusing the phrase, the application of Chekov's Corpse, as you know exactly where it will end up) into the storyline.

* Least quotable. Was there any dialog that didn't consist of grunting?

Best Musical Sequence: The umbrellas or the plungers? The plungers, definitely. Though the umbrella song is far superior.

Colma: The Musical

Colma: the indie musical! That's either two reasons to love it or two reasons to hate it, depending on your taste.

The story itself is straight-up indie belated-coming-of-age tale: angsty post-high-school kids hunt for jobs, struggle with relationships, and try to move out of their parent's place. Who needs suspension of disbelief? This stuff happens every day!

The sense of unreality, therefore, must be enforced with musical numbers. Some of them are flat and uninspired, seemingly supplied out of genre necessity ('Colma Stays', 'Crash the Party'); some poke fun at indie films, Colma included ('Friend Joseph' aka 'Quirky, Quirky, Quirky'); and some are just plain fun ('Goodbye Stupid').

What is there to say? You'll hate it if you hate musicals, you'll hate it if you hate indie coming-of-age films, and you'll either hate it or like it otherwise. Personally, I hated the first half but liked the second half, when the tone seemed to change from whiney to humourous.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Colma: The Muscial (IMDB)

Wince : [****_]
Flinch : [*____]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [**___]

Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]

Happiness of the Katakuris

The claymation opening sequence to this Taskhi Miike gem will undoubtedly leave most viewers thinking "What. The. Fuck." No need to go into detail; it is a sufficiently Funky Forest moment.

Eventually we meet the Katakuris, a family of misfits who run a guest house in the middle of nowhere. Business is dead until one rainy night when their first guest appears and, establishing a trend, dies mysteriously in the night. Rather than explain things to the cops, they live with their guilt and try to find some way to be happy. Before the volcano blows.

Did I mention it's a musical?

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Katakuri-ke no kôfuku (IMDB)

Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [*****]

Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [**___]

The District

From out of nowhere comes this animated piece of Eurosleaze: a Hungarian interpretation of Romeo and Juliet, with (to paraphrase Troma) all of the time travel, nukes, and streetwalkers that Shakespeare would have wanted.

The Montagues are gypsies and the Capulets are pimps. Lecherous grandfather Montague tells Romeo the secret of life: Money cures all ill. Romeo takes this to heart, and concocts a scheme to travel back in time, kill a bunch of dinosaurs, dig the up in the present, upset the global oil market, and get nuked by George Bush. Somewhere in there, he is supposed to get the girl.

As tragic in its own way as the original, propelled by Hungarian rap (with surprisingly entertaining translations), this gem is entirely inventive and entertaining. The Hungarians have figured out a truth that escaped even The Bard: the best way to resolve a feud between two stubborn men is for them to fight on the same side in a street brawl against the cops and get drunk afterwards.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Nyócker! (IMDB)

Wince : [*____]
Flinch : [*____]
Retch : [_____]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]

Romance and Cigarettes

Queens: The musical!

James Gandolfini as a two-timing construction worker. Susan Sarandon is the wife, Kate Winslet is the coarse-talking Irish slu--- er, lover. Steve Buscemi is the husband's coworker, Eddie Izzard is the wife's choir leader. Christopher Walken, in one of his more distinctive roles, plays the Elvis-obsessed cousin of Susan Sarandon, himself jilted (losing a woman to The Greek) and eager to help her get revenge.

This is a musical set in Queens, about blue-collar types, set to an eclectic selection of pop hits. It is a very Manhattan view of Queens as well: the men are oafs, the women are decked out in trailer park gear, everyone is ugly and talks like they were raised by Archie Bunker.

In short, a must must see. And I'm not just saying that because I live in Queens.

For some reason the tone of this film reminds me of Crime Wave, though I can't quite place why. Maybe the musical mayhem in one and the cartoonish violence in the other strike the same (off) chord.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Romance & Cigarettes (IMDB)

Wince : [*____]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [****_]

Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [**___]
Explicability : [****_]

Scene I'd watch on endless loop: "Why, why, why, Delilah?"