Pervert!

Finally, a movie about Sex! Death! Freedom (and who wouldn't love Freedom, as depicted here)! Or, according to the warning at the start of the film, Huge boobs, Sex, Blood, and a Snake.

Imagine a whodunnit written and produced by The Man Show and you've got this movie. Women keep getting murdered on lecherous old Hezekiah's ranch, overly penetrated by a misogynistic penis. But whose? Hezekiah's? His cursed son James'? The Coyote's?

Fun movie that shows just how much you can do with a lot (and I mean a LOT) of gratuitous breast shots.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Pervert! (IMDB)

Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [****_]

Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [***__] (+* if you have frat-boy taste in porn)
Obscurity : [**___]
Explicability : [**___]

Best ___ in a movie:
* use of a beehive
* theme song
* dog squeaky toy
* movie rating (H-14)
* montage girl
* opening credits


The Wit and Wisdom of Hezekiah:

"If God intended women to drive, He'd have equipped them with common sense instead of tits."

"You wouldn't know a real woman if one gave you a hand job in the back of an ice cream truck."

"I'm like french bread: the longer I'm around, the harder I get."

Prime Cut

The first half of Friday's double-feature.

Lee Marvin versus Gene Hackman: the Chicago mob coming down on a Kansas City slaughterhouse owner/meatpacker, with the mob playing the sympathetic character, oddly enough. There's meat (do we see a theme here?), a combine-harvester, a sex slave auction, and no doubt about the outcome in this movie.

If you see one Lee Marvin vs Gene Hackman movie this year, make it this one.

* * * R A T I N G * * *
Prime Cut (IMDB)

Wince : [**___]
Flinch : [*____]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [**___]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [**___]
Explicability : [****_]

Mad Cowgirl

Thursday's feature flick.

The fragmented and moving tale of a lovelorn meat inspector, her love of (western) kung-fu movies, her exposure to BSE, and her subsequent killing spree. A film for the most jaded palate, this one has everything: beef, leering priests, more beef, incest, cannibalism (or was that still more beef?), even a flying guillotine!

I'm sending a copy of this to every vegan I know.

* * * R A T I N G * * *
Mad Cowgirl (IMDB)

Wince : [****_]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [***__]
Gape : [****_]

Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [****_]
Obscurity : [****_]
Explicability : [*____]