AtB

Attack the Block and Super8 make for a fantastic double-feature, though the former kicks the pants off the latter.

OK, mindless blind gorilla-wolf aliens swarm through a council estate (aka the projects). The local, er, citizenry take matters into their own hands, partly out of pride, but mostly due to a learned distrust of civic authorities.

It's not a deep film, to be sure, but it's not afraid to be morally ambiguous, and the dialogue is outstanding. Yeah, the ending was a bit cheezy, but there was some restraint there.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Attack the Block(IMDB)

 Wince : [**___]
 Flinch : [**___]
 Retch : [**___]
 Gape : [***__]

 Beerequisite : [****_]
 Pornability : [_____] (**** for gorilla-wolf aliens)
 Obscurity : [*____]
 Explicability : [****_]

Best hope for a spin-off series:  Mayhem & Probs

Enter The Void

Further proof that Gaspar Noe has nothing to say.

Plot in a nutshell: Guy lives in a Tokyo ghetto with his sister. He mostly takes and sells drugs, she strips and whores. Drug deal goes wrong, guy dies, sister grieves, guy's friend moves in to console her, guy gets reborn as their love-child. Oh, and did I mention the Tibetan Book of the Dead? Because the characters do, a few hundred times, without actually giving any reason why that rites-of-passage book has any bearing on, well, anything going on in the film. Except maybe the guy becoming a ghost after he dies, or his spirit floating around or whatever, though even this is a stretch.

About fifteen minutes into this movie, you're thinking "wow, this is very fresh and vibrant, this could be one of the best cinematic experience of the year".

About an hour in, you're thinking "OK, I get it. Now please stop."

The strobe effects are just annoying. The tendency of the camera to zoom and spin into the first visible circular object in a room (fan, stove burner, duct -- any hole will do!) becomes so tiresome that snorts of derision accompanied these transitions halfway through the second hour. The final hotel-of-love scene caused outright laughter when the glowing genitals made their appearance. Maybe a Cannes audience found it offensive, but the audience at the IFC Center just found it ludicrous.

It may seem nit-picking to focus on these three flaws in a film that provided so much in terms of cinematography, seedy sides of Tokyo, and down-and-out lifestyle ... but really, they ruin it. Perhaps the film could have been saved if there was any take-away, but it remains a collection of impressionistic sequences with a "love is all there is and by love we mean sex and such" message tacked onto the end.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Enter the Void(IMDB)

Wince : [*****] Every time the camera goes into a duct.
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [**___]
Groan :[**********] Yes, I added that just for this film.

Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [***__]
Obscurity : [*____]
Explicability : [***__]

Memories I want to erase: ...about 3 hours' worth.

What I would do different: Maybe read the Tibetan Book of the Dead, for starters.

Aachi and Ssipak

Poo, glorious poo!

A cyborg cop battles a gang of popsicle-addicted proto-smurfs while two disaffected youth try to rescue their lust-interest (and her popsicle-generating sphincter) from amidst the carnage.

Motorcycles. Oppressive government. Organize crime. Porn. Tremendous amounts of spent ammunition. Can this film do no wrong?

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Achi-wa ssipak

Wince : [**___]
Flinch : [****_]
Retch : [***__]
Gape : [****_]

Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]

Scene I'd watch on endless loop: The fight scene on the steps.

Memories I want to erase: Jimmy doing his trannydance in the mob boss's jail cell.

The Slaughter

"You can't spell slaughter without laughter!" And apparently you can film The Slaughter without a slaughter.

Six college students (the jock! the slut! the misfit! the valedictorian! the pothead! the other one!) with a crappy job (clean up an abandoned house, where have I heard that before) are attacked by a racked demoness. Throw in a sleazy corporate exec and his aide, drop some blood on a buried occult book, stir, and let set.

OK, there are some potentially funny references to other horror films ("what kind of zombies are those?", "we're not going to split up like they do in the horror films"), but the timing is quite bad, and the quality of the acting isn't exactly top-notch either.

Ultimately an enjoyable college-kids-killed-by-demons-and-zombies film, though it does overreach a bit.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

The Slaughter (IMDB)


Wince : [*****]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [***__]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [*****]
Pornability : [***__]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]

Important zombie fact: In addition to slow-moving Dawn of the Dead zombies and fast, kung-fu master Evil Dead zombies, there are slow-moving-with-fast-reflexes Slaughter zombies.

Killing Time (24/7)

The first thing you say to yourself when watching this film is "Wait, it's not dubbed."

The second is "Holy crap, does that guy piss a lot!"

Jake is a hired killer (more glorified terms such as hitman or assassin would imply some sort of skill or planning involved in his work) who lives (and sleeps?) with his sister. Sex, violence, and family issues with the more bloody scenes curiously replaced with low-quality animation.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Killing Time (24/7) (IMDB)

Wince : [*****]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [***__]
Obscurity : [****_]
Explicability : [**___]

Red Angel

The perfect antidote to a smarmy M*A*S*H marathon, this film covers the adventures of a Japanese army nurse in China during World War II. First she is raped, then falls in love with an amputee, then ends up at the front lines where she falls in love with a n impotent morphine-addicted sawbones.

Early amputation scenes made me consider adding a squirm rating; though not particularly graphic, the sounds and imagery were suggestive enough to induce chair-writhing.

The final battle, with its alternating scenes of troops waiting for the enemy attack and the consummation of the nurse/doctor love affair, provided considerable tension not normally found in horror-of-war movies.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Akai tenshi (IMDB)

Wince : [**___]
Flinch : [****_]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [*____]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [****_]

The District

From out of nowhere comes this animated piece of Eurosleaze: a Hungarian interpretation of Romeo and Juliet, with (to paraphrase Troma) all of the time travel, nukes, and streetwalkers that Shakespeare would have wanted.

The Montagues are gypsies and the Capulets are pimps. Lecherous grandfather Montague tells Romeo the secret of life: Money cures all ill. Romeo takes this to heart, and concocts a scheme to travel back in time, kill a bunch of dinosaurs, dig the up in the present, upset the global oil market, and get nuked by George Bush. Somewhere in there, he is supposed to get the girl.

As tragic in its own way as the original, propelled by Hungarian rap (with surprisingly entertaining translations), this gem is entirely inventive and entertaining. The Hungarians have figured out a truth that escaped even The Bard: the best way to resolve a feud between two stubborn men is for them to fight on the same side in a street brawl against the cops and get drunk afterwards.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Nyócker! (IMDB)

Wince : [*____]
Flinch : [*____]
Retch : [_____]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]

No Country For Old Men

Grim. Life is cheap and can be taken at any time, without fuss or effort.

The Coen brothers' latest film can in no way be construed as uplifting. The humor that runs through their other films is mostly lacking, replaced by a merciless eye for detail and an almost sociopathic lack of concern for the fate of any of the characters.

The plot is straightforward: guy stumbles across a drug deal gone sour, guy decides to make off with the less-than-sour proceeds, guy gets hunted down by a psychopath with a silenced shotgun. It soon becomes clear that the hunter and the hunted are a fairly even match on many levels, though as usual in these guys' films, nothing quite turns out as expected. Tommy Lee Jones stars as the world-weary sheriff who can do nothing but watch it all unfold.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

No Country For Old Men, or 101 Uses for Compressed Air

Wince : [*____]
Flinch : [****_]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [*____]
Pornability : [_____] There is nothing sexy about this movie.
Obscurity : [_____]
Explicability : [****_]

Electric Apricot

It is very, very difficult to describe this film without using the word 'mockumentary' or invoking Spinal Tap. So why try?

A camera crew (well OK, 1 guy with a videocamera) follows the jam band Electric Apricot (nee Electric Knectarine) as they play a few gigs, record their first album, and achieve their dream of playing at Oregon jam band festival Festeroo.

Done to death, you say? No sir, not when it's written and directed by, not to mention starring, bass guru and all-around oddball Les Claypool. The humor is top-notch, as disparaging of its subject as the original Tap and coupled with enough musician insider insight (how long to set up a drum kit?) to keep what should be a worn-out subject from getting stale.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Electric Apricot (IMDB)

Wince : [*____]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [_____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [*****]

Favorite character: The Dead-hating bartender. Really made all that 'Jerry lives!' stuff much easier to take.

Orgazmo inbreeding: Keep an eye out for Choda Boy as the assistant studio technician, and Matt "I'm not gay or nuthing" Stone as a tapehead.

Lagunitas placement: It's everywhere from the guitarist's t-shirt to every beer the band drinks. Viva Lagunitas!

Murder Party

Everybody dies!

A meter mate (or whatever a male meter maid is called) finds an invitation to a Halloween party in Brooklyn, called 'The Murder Party' and advising him to come alone. It wouldn't be a movie if he just chucked it in the bin, now would it?

The party is, of course, hosted by serial killers -- in this case, narcissistic Williamsburg artists (trust me, if you've been to Open Studios, you've seen half this movie) looking to get a grant by performing murder-as-Art. They tie ol' DeadMeat up and play Truth or Dare with Scopolamine, which is of course where the cracks in the group start to show. And, of course, Everybody Dies.

The film is a bit slow, taking over an hour for anything to really happen, but it's a nice buildup . The humor is a bit of a slow-burn as well; there are few laugh-at-loud moments, but much that sticks with you. This could be a flaw in the scriptwriting, as the idea is more amusing than the execution, but the movie is entertaining regardless, and the performances are all quite solid.

Good one to watch while gearing up for that Halloween party.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Murder Party (IMDB)

Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [**___]

Kudos: How many horror films set in NYC recognize that murder and torture pale in comparison to losing your Metrocard?

Show-stealer: Despite the strong performances of the self-absorbed Lexi, the sneering Alexander, and "kill me"-eyed Chris, it is Gameboy-fixated Bill who ultimately makes the movie.

Scene I'd watch on endless loop: The Art Room. For the art. Really.

Most dreaded event that didn't happen: I was truly frightened that the film would have one of those "it was all fake" endings, or that the artists would drug their victim and apply makeup to make him think he had been tortured. That would have been just horrible.

Blue Sunshine

If you jerk, it won't work!

This attempt at a conspiracy film kicks off with a guy going crazy at a party when his wig gets torn off and people realize he's bald. He races off into the woods, then returns and stuffs a few girls in the fireplace.

One of the other guests gets blamed for all of this, and while on the lamb he discovers a startling trend: people are losing their hair, getting headaches, and snapping under mild stress to go on murderous rampages. It all gets traced back to a seedy dealer-turned-politician and a batch of bad acid passed around Stanford in the 60s.

This works fairly well as a suspense movie, though the camp value is pretty high. The inept protagonist (that's right, the best way to use a gun on an enraged bodyguard is to throw yourself on him bodily!) and his Ballantine-swilling girlfriend pretty much sleepwalk through the film, but the actors and events around them provide some entertainment.


* * * R A T I N G * * *

Blue Sunshine (IMDB)

Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [*____]
Retch : [_____]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [**___]
Pornability : [_____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]

Sailor Suit and Machine Gun

Imagine Disney doing a film about a high school girl-turned-gangleader movie ... where everyone dies.

A Japanese high school girl inherits a yakuza gang from her cousin and embarks on a life of organized crime. Not as entertaining as it sounds: the gang is falling apart (there are four of them left, and they drive the Japanese equivalent of a beat up old Fiat), the girl hates violence, and the jokes just aren't that funny (sure, it's in Japanese and something could be lost in translation, but judging by the directing and the acting it probably just isn't that well-written).


* * * R A T I N G * * *

Sailor-fuku to kikanjû (IMDB)

Wince : [****_]
Flinch : [*____]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [**___]

Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [**___]


What I would do different: This is a Japanese movie starring a Japanese schoolgirl, and there's not a tentacle in sight. Nobody even eats squid! Wasted, wasted opportunity.

Brain Damage

Part one of saturday night's double feature.

Oh man, if I had known that this was another offering from Frankenhooker auteur Frank Henenlotter (I just realized how many letters of his name are in that title!), I would have been much more forgiving of the initial badly-acted scenes.

This movie became classic the instant Aylmer, a purple parasitic brainstem (hmm, sounds like a college drink) climbs up on the main character's shoulder and says hello in his (its?) silky voice. The movie has huge anti-drug overtones: Aylmer injects super-addicitive blue liquid into his host's spinal cord which causes them to hallucinate (colors!) while he kills (other) people. Aylmer generally lives in whats-his-name's shirt, though occasionally he ventures down south, leading up to the infamous 'fellatio scene' which is truly what puts this movie on the map.

Alymer carries the movie, leaving you uncaring about the human cast (much as he/it is). I heartily recommend subjecting an unsuspecting victim to this movie.

* * * R A T I N G * * *
Brain Damage (IMDB)

Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [****_]

Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]