Friday, June 27, 2008

Shamo

This adaptation of a manga about a fighter would have been better served by abandoning its source material entirely. The story (a young man gets sent to prison for killing his parents and emerges a tough martial artist) and the character (a vicious, wronged thug who lacks the wits or skill to win a match) are good enough to sustain interest, but the exposition and the lack of any cohesion to the scenes ultimately make the film a bit of a disappointment.

From the director of Dog Bite Dog, one would expect a gritty, grim tale, and indeed one is provided: Shamo must mean "shat upon by society". Nice touches abound throughout: the Johnny Walker-swilling sensei, the gaudily-dressed prostitute love(?)-interest, and even The Beast (Kung Fu Hustle) as the head of the top martial arts gym.

Ranks with Zebraman for one of the best martial arts finishing moves out there.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Shamo (NYAFF, IMDB)

Wince : [****_]
Flinch : [****_]
Retch : [***__]
Gape : [**___]

Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [**___]
Explicability : [***__]

The Most Beautiful Night in the World

What does one expect, exactly, from a three-hour movie about sex?

Well, certainly not two hours of a newly-transferred reporter trying to earn his way back to the city by finding a scoop on any one of the village locals.

The story basically goes as follows. Many years ago, the Jomon tribe maintained an paralleled birth rate due to their use of powerful aphrodisiacs. Eventually, they were slaughtered by jealous neighboring tribes who weren't getting laid. Years later, a medium with a lethal embrace and a terrorist master of the art of hung fu rediscover the source of the Jomon's power.

There's a lot going on in this movie, but very little to tell: it's good, it's fun, it's unique, and it makes you want to save the world through shagging.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

The Most Beautiful Night in the World (NYAFF)

Wince : [*____]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [****_]

Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [***__]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [****_]

Catchphrase: Jomon Power!

Mad Detective

A detective solves crimes by a combination of method acting and being able to see people's true selves. Of course, he can also see his former wife, and nobody else can -- but that doesn't mean he's crazy, right?

Things get interesting when the obvious villain of the piece appears, all seven personalities (played by some Johnnie To regulars) in tow. The Mad Detective teams up with a young, ambitious cop to help him solve the case of ... the Missing Gun. Well, the case involves a Murdered Policeman as well, but no-one seems to care, really.

Good crazy police fun, if a bit disorderly at times.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

Sun taam (NYAFF, IMDB)

Wince : [**___]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [***__]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [**___]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [**___]
Explicability : [****_]

The Butcher

How bad is bad? Pretty bad, apparently.

Shot in POV on a low-resolution camera, this grainy mess had the potential to be a convincing simu-snuff film: five victims with cameras tied to their heads await their turn to be tortured, in pairs, as evidence of the head honcho's cinematic genius.

All of the elements of good torture porn are here: the (too-long) buildup as the victims hear their companions be slaughtered (albeit rather quickly), the "do or die" session where a victim is granted his freedom if he can stand the pain, and the inevitable loss of loyalty to friends, family, and country that comes with being tortured. And a gimp^H^H^H^Hbutcher in a pig's mask whose special technique has less to do with a chainsaw and more to do with a grunting prison nightmare.

Unfortunately, the first two thirds of this movie are wasted in a POV shot of someone's feet accompanied by frantic panting noises, and the last third is wasted in a POV shot of someone driving a car. Sandwiched in between, briefly, are a couple of bloody but not terribly cringeworthy scenes involving a chainsaw (who the hell tortures with a chainsaw, anyways?), a hammer, and a knife. Nope, not even a scalpel.

Oh, and expect the usual unconvincing acting (even in Korean!) and poor subtitles.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

The Butcher (NYAFF)

Wince : [*****]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [***__]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [****_]
Pornability : [*____] (**, depending on your tastes)
Obscurity : [****_]
Explicability : [**___]

Big Man Japan

Monster mockumentary about a film crew following the last of the 'Dai Nipponjin': Japanese men who, when hooked up to a power plant, grow to the size of giant monsters to defend Tokyo from the likes of Godzilla.

Times have changed, though, and the latest Dai Nipponjin commands none of the respect of his predecessors. And let's face it: he doesn't deserve it. He's dumb as a brick, he can't fight, he never trains, and his opponents could be soundly defeated by ... well, by him, or really anyone in the area who takes an interest.

Eventually the film crew becomes as disgusted with him as his agent is, and their coverage becomes more candid (and thus more humiliating) as the film goes on. We're not dealing with a sympathetic underdog, here; by the end of the film, you're rooting for his defeat along with the entire population of Tokyo.

The climax of the film arrives with Dai Nipponjin's great moment of truth, paving the way for a deus-ex-machine ending which, while gathering the largest laughs in the film, doesn't quite convince you that the producers stayed within budget.

Very fun, instant classic, all that. You'll be calling everything a Baddie after this one.


* * * R A T I N G * * *

Dai Nipponjin (NYAFF, IMDB)

Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [****_]

Beerequisite : [**___]
Pornability : [*____] (*** for Stinky Baddies)
Obscurity : [**___]
Explicability : [****_]

Chanbara Beauty

Inspired by a video game, y'say? Hard to tell.

There's only one way to ruin a movie about a bikini-clad cowgirl slicing up zombies in a post-apocalyptic world as she hunts down her Japanese-schoolgirl rival, and that's with exposition. Slow, plodding exposition in and around every fight scene. Which themselves are filmed in the jerky digicam style that works well for riots, gang beatings and zombies, but which screams "We couldn't get a choreographer!" when applied to martial arts.

The action is dull, the attempts to further the plot are worse, the zombies oscillate between skilled/intelligent and slow-moving/dull-witted without any discernible pattern, the bikini is too large and the sword is too small. There's just not much to like here, even the tacked-on manga-style ending.

* * * R A T I N G * * *

OneChanbara (NYAFF, IMDB)

Wince : [****_]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [*****]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [**___]
Explicability : [***__]

Adrift in Tokyo

The people behind Turtles Swim Faster Than Expected bring this similarly absurdist, more pointless tale of a walkabout.

A perpetual student who is behind in his debts is visited by a collection agent who, having killed his wife and decided to surrender himself to the police, offers to forgive the debt in exchange for company on his walk to the police station.

The result is an ambling tour of Tokyo as the two characters reminisce and encounter individuals of all sorts: a violent tatami-mat vendor, an elderly costumed locker room thief, well-known actor Ittoku Kishibe, a vengeful watch repairman, a baby hippopotamus, and a roller-skating guitarist. In fact, the only people they don't run into are the three coworkers of his wife (the spy couple and ramen chef from Turtles), who try to track her down in the midst of life's daily distractions (e.g. hair smelling funny, being cast as extras in a film, etc).

Unfortunately the leisurely stroll ends about halfway through the film, as the characters bond and try to reach some form of resolution.


* * * R A T I N G * * *

Tenten(NYAFF, IMDB)

Wince : [**___]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [***__]

Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [**___]
Explicability : [**___]