It only takes a few minutes to realize that Death Trance is brought to you by the same people that did Versus: the metal soundtrack-driven stylized violence gives away the game immediately.
There is some sort of a story about an unbeatable samurai (who seems to lose an awful lot for being unbeatable) stealing a coffin containing the Goddess of Destruction, and an inept priest trying to track him down. Throw in a phallic apocalypse sword, the two-fisted (assuming both of them hold revolvers) son of Steven Seagal, vampiric spider-humans, and a child sidekick slightly less annoying than the kid from Six-String Samurai, and you have ... this movie. And did I mention the two (count 'em!) combat-as-sex scenes?
Decent mindless, over the top fun, with what has to be the best demonstration of gun-fu to hit the screen (and not from Seagal either).
The ending, for some reason, is reminiscent of Meatball Machine.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Death Trance (IMDB), aka The Movie Put Me To Sleep Three Times
Wince : [****_]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [***__]
Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [**___]
Showing posts with label vampires. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vampires. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Friday, November 2, 2007
The Hamiltons
A family of blood-swilling serial killers has moved to Petaluma, and are just trying to fit in.
This movie really has a lot going for it: the pacing is good; the acting is, well, good enough; the story unfolds nicely. Its greatest asset is probably its ambiguity: throughout the film, you are uncertain as to who is a sympathetic character, or even what the nature of the movie truly is. I was struck by the way the film shied away from gore, which is a staple of any serial killer film, but by the end I could understand the decision.
I think the directors took the film a tad too seriously, especially with the whole "we could be living next to you right now" narration at the end (not to mention the handling of Lenny), but on the whole it was a decent film.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
The Hamiltons (IMDB)
Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [**___]
Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]
Favorite line even though I saw it coming: "Here, kitty kitty!"
What I would do different: Shot the entire thing through the younger brother's video camera, keeping the slow buildup but providing it the kind of 'found object' feel that Blair Witch tried for and making it much more personal.
This movie really has a lot going for it: the pacing is good; the acting is, well, good enough; the story unfolds nicely. Its greatest asset is probably its ambiguity: throughout the film, you are uncertain as to who is a sympathetic character, or even what the nature of the movie truly is. I was struck by the way the film shied away from gore, which is a staple of any serial killer film, but by the end I could understand the decision.
I think the directors took the film a tad too seriously, especially with the whole "we could be living next to you right now" narration at the end (not to mention the handling of Lenny), but on the whole it was a decent film.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
The Hamiltons (IMDB)
Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [**___]
Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]
Favorite line even though I saw it coming: "Here, kitty kitty!"
What I would do different: Shot the entire thing through the younger brother's video camera, keeping the slow buildup but providing it the kind of 'found object' feel that Blair Witch tried for and making it much more personal.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tokyo Zombie
Black Fuji, a mountainous landfill where people have been burying garbage, old refrigerators, and dead (or not so dead) relatives for years, has started producing zombies from its depths. Lots of zombies: enough to destroy Tokyo.
What do the locals decide to do? Use them for ju-jitsu practice!
The plot is a straightforward ju-jitsu/zombie/apocalypse film, but the fun is in the details: a soda-swilling terrorist, a vampire zombie, the Masked Zombie, the Squeeze Electric Company, and what could be the first ever case of a human biting a zombie.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Tôkyô zonbi (IMDB)
Wince : [**___]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [****_]
Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [****_]
Explicability : [***__]
Favorite nickname: Zombald!
What do the locals decide to do? Use them for ju-jitsu practice!
The plot is a straightforward ju-jitsu/zombie/apocalypse film, but the fun is in the details: a soda-swilling terrorist, a vampire zombie, the Masked Zombie, the Squeeze Electric Company, and what could be the first ever case of a human biting a zombie.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Tôkyô zonbi (IMDB)
Wince : [**___]
Flinch : [***__]
Retch : [**___]
Gape : [****_]
Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [****_]
Explicability : [***__]
Favorite nickname: Zombald!
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Murder Party
Everybody dies!
A meter mate (or whatever a male meter maid is called) finds an invitation to a Halloween party in Brooklyn, called 'The Murder Party' and advising him to come alone. It wouldn't be a movie if he just chucked it in the bin, now would it?
The party is, of course, hosted by serial killers -- in this case, narcissistic Williamsburg artists (trust me, if you've been to Open Studios, you've seen half this movie) looking to get a grant by performing murder-as-Art. They tie ol' DeadMeat up and play Truth or Dare with Scopolamine, which is of course where the cracks in the group start to show. And, of course, Everybody Dies.
The film is a bit slow, taking over an hour for anything to really happen, but it's a nice buildup . The humor is a bit of a slow-burn as well; there are few laugh-at-loud moments, but much that sticks with you. This could be a flaw in the scriptwriting, as the idea is more amusing than the execution, but the movie is entertaining regardless, and the performances are all quite solid.
Good one to watch while gearing up for that Halloween party.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Murder Party (IMDB)
Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [***__]
Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [**___]
Kudos: How many horror films set in NYC recognize that murder and torture pale in comparison to losing your Metrocard?
Show-stealer: Despite the strong performances of the self-absorbed Lexi, the sneering Alexander, and "kill me"-eyed Chris, it is Gameboy-fixated Bill who ultimately makes the movie.
Scene I'd watch on endless loop: The Art Room. For the art. Really.
Most dreaded event that didn't happen: I was truly frightened that the film would have one of those "it was all fake" endings, or that the artists would drug their victim and apply makeup to make him think he had been tortured. That would have been just horrible.
A meter mate (or whatever a male meter maid is called) finds an invitation to a Halloween party in Brooklyn, called 'The Murder Party' and advising him to come alone. It wouldn't be a movie if he just chucked it in the bin, now would it?
The party is, of course, hosted by serial killers -- in this case, narcissistic Williamsburg artists (trust me, if you've been to Open Studios, you've seen half this movie) looking to get a grant by performing murder-as-Art. They tie ol' DeadMeat up and play Truth or Dare with Scopolamine, which is of course where the cracks in the group start to show. And, of course, Everybody Dies.
The film is a bit slow, taking over an hour for anything to really happen, but it's a nice buildup . The humor is a bit of a slow-burn as well; there are few laugh-at-loud moments, but much that sticks with you. This could be a flaw in the scriptwriting, as the idea is more amusing than the execution, but the movie is entertaining regardless, and the performances are all quite solid.
Good one to watch while gearing up for that Halloween party.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Murder Party (IMDB)
Wince : [***__]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [***__]
Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [**___]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [**___]
Kudos: How many horror films set in NYC recognize that murder and torture pale in comparison to losing your Metrocard?
Show-stealer: Despite the strong performances of the self-absorbed Lexi, the sneering Alexander, and "kill me"-eyed Chris, it is Gameboy-fixated Bill who ultimately makes the movie.
Scene I'd watch on endless loop: The Art Room. For the art. Really.
Most dreaded event that didn't happen: I was truly frightened that the film would have one of those "it was all fake" endings, or that the artists would drug their victim and apply makeup to make him think he had been tortured. That would have been just horrible.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Blood & Donuts
A pleasant, some might even say tender, film about a vampire waking up (from sleeping off the effects of a moon-landing bender, apparently) in modern(ish) Toronto, and falling in with a (immigrant?) cabbie who hangs out at a late-night donut shop. Where the OPEN sign is on the inside, and they serve donuts on a plate. Quite odd donuts, too.
Boya the Undead is fun to watch as he stumbles stiffly around like a junkie, timidly making conversation and snacking on rats. It is Earl the cabbie, though, who soon steals the show with his outlandish accent and his easygoing delivery: "Is stress. My brain, is not pliable. It cracks!"
There's a plot of some sort involving some small-time gangsters (backed by the nefarious David Cronenberg), and another involving Boya's ex from the sixties, as well as a half-hearted love triangle between the vampire, the cabbie, and the donut shop gal (with Boya reaching for the part of hypotenuse when he plants a hand on Earl's thigh). But who cares? Great dialog and quirky acting combine to make a very memorable film.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Blood & Donuts (IMDB)
Wince : [**___]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [***__]
Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]
Scene I'd watch on endless loop: Earl coming to grips with Boya's vampirism. "Sorry! I only know this one day and already I try to kill you, eh?"
Memories I want to erase: The CGI golfballs over the opening credits.
Boya the Undead is fun to watch as he stumbles stiffly around like a junkie, timidly making conversation and snacking on rats. It is Earl the cabbie, though, who soon steals the show with his outlandish accent and his easygoing delivery: "Is stress. My brain, is not pliable. It cracks!"
There's a plot of some sort involving some small-time gangsters (backed by the nefarious David Cronenberg), and another involving Boya's ex from the sixties, as well as a half-hearted love triangle between the vampire, the cabbie, and the donut shop gal (with Boya reaching for the part of hypotenuse when he plants a hand on Earl's thigh). But who cares? Great dialog and quirky acting combine to make a very memorable film.
* * * R A T I N G * * *
Blood & Donuts (IMDB)
Wince : [**___]
Flinch : [**___]
Retch : [*____]
Gape : [***__]
Beerequisite : [***__]
Pornability : [*____]
Obscurity : [***__]
Explicability : [***__]
Scene I'd watch on endless loop: Earl coming to grips with Boya's vampirism. "Sorry! I only know this one day and already I try to kill you, eh?"
Memories I want to erase: The CGI golfballs over the opening credits.
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